Return of the Jester

My Jester returned!! *throws coffee and confetti* I could do the cancan in a ghastly purple tutu! Oh wait, I don't have to, I'll just ask my loyal jester to do so... No. I'm not delusional. I just happen to aspire towards world domination. Now in my new world order I have Royal Jesters, janitors and crocodile bait. Siblings/Dissidents fall into the last category.
Anywho, with my jester back, I can ramble mindlessly for hours on end without being promptly cut off mid-sentence. Honestly, it's quite rude when people use "nature calls" as a pretext to get out of a conversation with me. Either that or all my friends have overactive bladders. *shudders inwardly* I know I'm a rather trying person and quite honestly even I can get sick of myself with alarming frequency but come on, how often does one have to bathe, or answer the doorbell, or watch Seinfeld, or eat lunch at 4:40 in the morning? Oh well, it's not my fault term begins on the 30 th of August!! I just want to pack my bags and leave! But due to some cruel twist of fate I am doomed to spend a 5 month holiday in boring blistering Bangalore! Worse still, everybody's college/school either begins tomorrow or next week... So I can't ring up anyone at 10 in the morning to debate the possibility of brain damage after watching the latest Narnia movie. I've been reduced to watching my stuffed companions fight with each other. Bumblebutt(my pilot teddy... reason for name: courtesy Jooni on a hangover) is rather peeved by Poko, my frighteningly blue elephant ballerina. Right now my bedroom's ground zero for hostile tension between my inanimate friends. *sigh* I really need to leave this house...
Oh well... My loyal reader... yes singular...I'm not THAT delusional! if you have any useful suggestions about how to kill time for 3 months, please leave some in the comments suggestions and no, I will NOT consider sewing/cooking/ballet *gags in horror* lessons how much ever it might entertain you. Remember every one on the planet was created solely for the purpose of my amusement...
A demain my pets,
With bubbles and Bumblebutt,
Yours in complete disenchantment
BeaverGirl

Living in a hut, sitting on an armadillo, eating a whale and watching fish fly west

"Go live in a hut!" Not very long ago these priceless words of wisdom were uttered by my rather exasperated friend (who, as you might have duly observed, is incapable of a respectable comeback)... Suddenly these words seem to make a lot more sense. More sense than Joseph Heller at any rate... Maybe it's time I took a much needed vacation from my holiday. I'm restless with anticipation... Why does school have to begin only in September! The wait is killing me.
I guess most people would welcome the idea of a 5 month long vacation but, trust me, after five weeks you will be itching to do something productive. I've been reduced to coming up with ridiculous comebacks for the aforementioned friend involving edgy armadillos, edible whales and airborne fish... I need one last cathartic and reckless outburst to put everything back to perspective. But in lieu of the exciting summer I had envisioned, I'm experiencing an interminable period of tedium that stretches out for a few more months...
I cannot even read as voraciously as before. My interest is waning and I seem to have very little patience for Mr.Nikos Kazantzakis too... Well, the prospect of a vacation is turning out to be more promising by the day. If I''m lucky I'll be out of this city(or country) by next Friday...*prays to the visa gods* ... Right.. that's about as much I can type about my uneventful vacation at 11:55 in the night whilst under the influence of sleep inducing medication. Yes, I'm on medication. No, I don't have mental problems(how much ever this blog may indicate to the contrary). I'm still recuperating from a nasty bout of stomach flu. It isn't life threatening so don't get your hopes up.
*Yawn* Must sleep... I think I can see the bloody armadillos doing the cancan in front of me. Stupid pills. Stupid hallucinations. Stupid dasypodidae. Maybe next time I'll be able to write a sensible piece for once. Although I rather like the title... sounds like the plot for my next short story...hmm....